026: MCRIB

🐉 Scroll 026 — *The Forbidden Rib: McRib Relic Scroll*

“It returns only when the stars align and the sauce moons rise. The sandwich that defies permanence. The meat that haunts memory.”

🧬 Item Profile

• Name: McRib
• Class: Temporal Relic | Summonable Culinary Phantom
• Rarity: Legendary Seasonal (Summonable only during Eclipse Weeks)
• Origin: Smoketide Domain, Underrealm of BBQ Lore
• Unit Price: 4–5 Gold Coins depending on moon phase

📊 Stat Buff Matrix

• 🍖 Hearty Damage: +9 (Applies Sauced Burn to target)
• 🔥 Fire Affinity: +2 to Flame Resistance, +1 to Boldness
• ⏳ Temporal Surge: Once per consumption, gain 1 bonus “Nostalgia Move”
• 🎲 Dice Buff: +1 to BBQ Lore, Memory Recall, and Unavailable Menu Summons

🧪 Relic Fusion Recipes

Can be augmented using internal sauces and spiritual toppings:

• 🔥 Red Ritual Flame: Add Buffalo or Sriracha to increase Flame Damage +2
• 🌰 Ancient Earthbinder: Add turmeric + smoky paprika → “Bonekeeper McRib” (Earth Element, lasts longer in digestion, +1 Ground Defense)
• 🧄 Mythic Clove Fusion: Add fresh garlic oil and black pepper → “Dark Rib of Truth” (removes illusion from enemies for 1 turn)

📜 Lore

The McRib was never meant to stay. Born from the culinary catacombs of McDonald’s sacred test kitchens, it vanished before it ever truly arrived. Each return of the McRib is heralded by whispers, posters, and online scroll fragments. It appears like a comet — then vanishes, leaving stained napkins and cravings in its wake.

Some say the McRib contains dream-pulled memories of a primordial rib. Others say it’s a test of desire, a lesson in impermanence. Monks from the Order of the Sauce believe its return marks timeline shifts.

💥 Secret Summoning Mechanics

• Appears only when 3 or more sauce requests are made simultaneously within a 9-day window
• More likely to appear after Mercury Retrograde
• Enhanced when paired with Medium Fries + Sprite Zero “Moonlight Edition”

🧝 Archetype Compatibility

Best Suited For: Scorpio, Sagittarius, ENTP, Enneagram 7, Chaos-Seekers, BBQ Mystics

Avoided By: Virgo, INTJ — too unstable, elusive, and messy for their nature

🏅 Final Scroll Score

• Visual Drama: ✅ 100/100 — Glorious sauced architecture
• Rarity Myth: ✅ 100/100 — Temporal scarcity adds legend tier
• Flavor Lore: ✅ 100/100 — Smoky, sweet, mysterious
• Scroll Spellcraft: ✅ 100/100 — Paradoxically sacred and ridiculous
• Cultural Weight: ✅ 100/100 — Has its own timeline

Final Score: 💯 / 100