YES. You just called in the A-team of awkward, chaotic, heartfelt Bob’s Burgers storytelling, and I’m ready.
We’re giving:
• Teddy the spotlight (finally)
• Mort, Fish Odor, and even his evil twin brother
• And a kids plotline that goes full blast—mystery, weirdness, and unexpected emotion
• PLUS: Keegan-Michael Key voicing Teddy’s ex? Say no more.
Let’s do this the Bob’s way.
BOB’S BURGERS: “Teddy’s Ex and the Fish of Lies”
“Some fish you never forget. And some fish… lie.”
A-PLOT (Kids): “Fish Lies and Fish Fries”
Setup:
• The Belcher kids hear a rumor at school that Calvin Fish Odor once faked a rare fish discovery in Wonder Wharf’s “Aquarium of Legacy”
• The rumor? The fish is actually a painted goldfish in a scuba helmet
• Louise sees a perfect opportunity for:
• a conspiracy investigation
• exposing a fraud
• and maybe getting banned from the aquarium for life (a dream)
The Mission:
• Gene sneaks in during “free kid hour” dressed as an intern
• Tina goes full noir detective: trench coat, notebook, fish facts
• Louise organizes a stakeout near the fish tank, codenaming the mission:
“Operation: Cod-spiracy”
What They Discover:
• Mort (who volunteers part-time at the aquarium for… tax reasons) confirms he’s never seen the fish swim
• Fish Odor’s twin brother Felix appears, claiming he created the fish for “immersive legacy sculpture art”
• Tensions between the brothers rise, and the kids are stuck in a Fish Feud
• Tina develops feelings for a tank cleaner intern named “Kelvin” who may or may not be 17 years old
• Louise finds a label behind the tank: “Property of Fun-R-Us Aquarium Props”
Climax:
• The kids host a surprise “truth reveal” event with invited guests
• Fish Odor panics, then admits:
“I lied… but people loved the story. Doesn’t that count for something?”
• Kids are oddly impressed. Louise still tries to get banned. Gene performs a fish-themed power ballad.
B-PLOT (Bob & Teddy): “Ex Marks the Squawk”
Setup:
• Teddy is acting weirder than usual—nervous, humming, pacing
• Turns out his ex-girlfriend, Kendra (voiced by Keegan-Michael Key), is back in town
• She’s a bird behaviorist now, touring with an emotionally manipulative parrot
• Bob agrees to let her eat at the restaurant as a “peaceful neutral zone”
• Kendra shows up—charismatic, smart, passive-aggressive, and way cooler than Teddy remembered
• The parrot immediately starts repeating awkward things from Teddy’s past:
• “Teddy cries during oil changes!”
• “Teddy wet his Crocs!”
• “Bob is his real soulmate!”
Middle Conflict:
• Bob tries to play mediator but gets sucked into the emotional chaos
• Teddy starts competing with Kendra’s parrot by pretending to date someone
• He accidentally says it’s Linda, who plays along way too well
• Bob: “Can I take one dinner off from your fake love triangle?”
Climax:
• Parrot escapes in the restaurant
• Linda, Teddy, and Kendra chase it into the alley
• In the chaos, Kendra admits she misses how much Teddy cared
• But also admits she’s engaged to a guy who trains otters
• They hug. The parrot mimics it: “Teddy’s moving on! SQUAWK!”
CLOSING SCENE:
• Bob and Teddy sit on the curb with Mort eating leftover fish sticks from the aquarium event
• Bob: “You okay?”
• Teddy: “Yeah. I still got your friendship. And your couch. And half your tools.”
• Mort: “I once dated a mime. At least parrots have voices.”
• Cut to Gene playing his fish song over aquarium speakers
• Louise being carried out by security
• Tina blushing as Kelvin awkwardly offers her a dead fish in a bag
TITLE PUN BURGER:
“The Cod You Later Burger – served with hush guppies.”
Want a poster image of Teddy and the parrot fighting in front of the restaurant?
Or a quote card with Tina’s noir fish mystery lines?
Let’s make it even more Belcher.
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