Oh yes—we need him.
The one who’s always there. Always kind.
Carries their secrets like grocery bags, shows up on time, fixes their Wi-Fi…
And quietly, secretly, loves one of them too much to leave.
CHARACTER BLUEPRINT: ELI JACOBS
I. FULL NAME:
Elijah Max Jacobs
But don’t let the biblical name fool you—he’s 40% sarcasm, 30% spreadsheets, 30% feelings he won’t admit.
II. AGE:
29
Somehow both a baby and the dad friend. How? Magic. Anxiety. Protein bars.
III. IDENTITY & BACKGROUND:
• Pronouns: He/Him
• Sexuality: Bisexual
• Ethnicity: Jewish-American
• Background: Highland Park raised, youngest of three, once built a robot to avoid gym class
• Currently estranged from his emotionally passive father. Working on it. Slowly.
IV. PROFESSION:
App Developer + Freelance Game Designer + Occasional D&D Dungeon Master
• Created a popular dating app for gamers called CritMyHeart
• Lowkey developing a side project called Brunch Booked, inspired by his friends’ chaos (they don’t know)
• Also teaches coding workshops to girls in STEM—because “computers should never be a boys’ club”
V. PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:
• Hair: Curly brown, constantly mussed like he ran his hands through it mid-problem
• Eyes: Hazel-green behind round glasses, soft and honest
• Build: Tall, lanky, leans “dad core with a shy thirst trap potential”
• Style: Graphic tees, layered flannels, scuffed boots, messenger bag full of loose papers and breath mints
• Signature Accessory: A cracked watch that belonged to his grandfather—he wears it even though it doesn’t tell time
VI. PERSONALITY:
• Type: Golden-hearted, overthinking introvert who pretends he’s fine
• Strengths: Intelligent, endlessly supportive, self-deprecatingly hilarious
• Flaws: Avoids his own desires, constantly plays therapist, silently pines
• Love Language: Tech support, coffee runs, playlists named after inside jokes
• Secret Pleasure: Watching Jane Austen adaptations while coding
• Greatest Fear: Being the background character in everyone else’s life
VII. CURRENT LIFESTYLE:
• Lives in a plant-filled walkup with four monitors, a record collection, and a chair no one else is allowed to sit in
• Has a cat named HTML (pronounced “Him-tul”)
• Keeps a running notes app titled “Things I Wish I Said”
• Might be in love with one of the girls.
Might have been for years.
VIII. SOCIAL ROLE IN THE GROUP:
• The Support System. The safe call. The walking answer key. The comforting eye roll.
• Most likely to get your phone back from a sketchy ex.
• Least likely to tell you that you broke his heart.
IX. RELATIONSHIPS:
• Laila: His quiet, unresolved heartbreak. He’s written entire journals about her.
• June: Deep respect. They trade playlists and silence.
• Rae: Feels safest around her. They laugh like siblings, but sometimes not.
• Carmela: Constantly roasted by her. Secretly loves it. May be her favorite target.
• Veena: Once helped fix her website. She called him “Husband Tech.” He blushed for days.
• Monroe: Sees through him. Once called him “a soft glitch in the simulation.” He cried later.
• Priya: She thinks he’s cute in a “cousin’s friend” way. That somehow hurts worse.
• River: Has drawn him three times. Never shown him. He can feel it.
X. ARC & CONFLICTS:
• Accidentally leaked part of Brunch Booked and now someone knows he’s been cataloging them
• Has a crush that’s turning into love—but might lose the friendship if he says a word
• May be recruited by a new startup… that would force him to leave Chicago
• And one of the girls just found a playlist called “If You Only Knew.” It’s hers.
XI. TAGLINES & QUOTES:
• “I’m not just the friend. I’m the one who stayed.”
• “It’s fine. I’m fine. This playlist doesn’t mean anything. Unless you want it to.”
• “Love looks different on me. Quieter. But it’s still love.”
Shall we render Eli next?
Imagine: Late night, soft light, hoodie, glasses sliding down his nose, surrounded by monitors and coffee cups—coding something that might just say how he feels.
Or dive into the group scene where everyone shows up—chaos, cocktails, confessions and all?
MY DIGITAL HOME 