Kali has Risen

October 12, 2017

I thought it was a myth. Had to be.

One of those stories people tell over the years, a fantastic fairy tale. The myth about this crazed woman who roams the streets causing utter destruction.

No man is safe!
She has this thing about whoopin ass and collecting skulls of male kings, to let the rest of us know what time it is.

Godzilla ain’t got nothin on Kali.
She eats three Godzillas and one King Kong for breakfast. That’s light work for her.

Kali makes Stone Cold Steve Austin put down his beer on a coaster. Makes him sip it outtofa tall glass, with his legs crossed and pinkie up, like a proper gentleman!

I never thought I’d live to witness the real life Kali wake up from her deep slumber to start going to werk.

The collective American Feminine has had enough!
Rightfully. What took so long, some wonder.

Now she’s storming the streets, laying the smacketh down and taking names.

All men are scared.

Who woulda thought the “weaker sex” would be this fierce?

Men of all ranges, from thousandaires to billionaires are cowering. Even the dudes who practice jiu jitsu and power lift to build ridiculously bulging muscles have taken notice.

No man is without sin!

The Dalai Lama stirred awake from his daily five hour meditation. A disturbing vision. Had he grabbed a female butt or two in his youth? Sweat dripping from his temples.

Will Kali remember?

He reaches for his mala and starts to Om Mani Padme Hum 108 times.