The Secret Self

June 3, 2017

Has this ever happened to you?

The Lost Book
The other day, I was looking for a certain book in my collection but had no idea where it was.

See, I’ve moved back to my parents a while back and all my books are still in various boxes. There must be 10 or so boxes randomly filled with books (I’m not a good organizer). And some boxes have random things like pots and pans and various electrical equipment I don’t use at the moment.

Sometimes, I’ll really want to find this book and go down there and try to find it using my intellect. Where the hell is this book, I’ll think, and systematically go through every box until I start sweating and swearing. I’m more of a sit around and read type person rather than a roam around and look for lost things type of person, if that makes sense. Some folks are actually good at the latter.

Often in those times, I’ll get so annoyed, frustrated, and sweaty that I’ll come to my room and lie down from exhaustion.

After a while, I’ll forget about that damn book.
Fuck it, I’ll live without, I think.

A few hours or even days later, I’ll be listening to some piece of music and feeling inspired in general. And all of a sudden I’m on my feet and heading downstairs and I’m watching myself do this. I’m the passenger watching my body drive.

If I don’t overthink the situation, my body will walk right up to the box, even if it’s crammed under two other boxes, and my hand will immediately touch the book I was looking for.

If I overthink the situation, I will start to wonder which box to look in, and the whole thing will take longer than if I just let my secret self drive.

I have been rearranging my room over and over for many years now, trying to find the right flow and energy of the thing. The perfect placement of all items.

Again, I overthink the situation and read every feng shui and design book and work myself into a frenzy and by the time I’m ready to move stuff, I’m exhausted. I’m a sit on my butt and watch youtube videos and write type of person, not a mover and shaker of furniture.

This happened two days ago. I woke up and had some breakfast. My intellectual brain cells were not firing fully yet, I was still in that daze from waking up. So I put on some tunes and all of a sudden my body started moving.

By now, I’ve lived long enough and made enough errors to know to get outta the way when the secret self wants to do its thang.

Next thing I knew, I was witnessing my body completely move my heavy bed and furniture around and placed the whole thing into new directions. I was sweating and just listening to music and witnessing what was happening. It’s like your friend is driving, zooming in and outta traffic, and instead of panicking, you’re listening to the tunes blasting thru the speakers and enjoying the moment, windows open.

After about two hours, I, or rather my secret self, was done. I looked around the room and it looked better than all my previous attempts relying solely on my intellect. Not only that, but my secret self used my body to even vacuum the whole carpet, a task which I’d normally rather die than do.

Table Building
Ever since I read about Jeff Bezos building a table out of a door and random pieces of wood for his office, I wanted to do the same. Not only that, I wanted this table to have the perfect auspicious feng shui dimensions, a tough task because most items sold online did not fit my requirements.

So my intellect started planning it out. I guess I have to hit up a home improvement store like Home Depot or Lowes. Find the dude who knows how to cut lumber and get them to do that. And lug a door and these pieces of lumber back home, with the right screws and whatnots, and put it together.

All of this sounded like torture. Again, I’m more of a watch a video of someone make a table type of guy rather than actually heading to the lumber store and manual labor type dude.

But this morning, for some reason, as I listened to music, the secret self got to work. I witnessed myself walk around the whole house, into random bedrooms, garage, and even the creepy side room in the basement that only spiders enter.

There was some trial and error involved of finding the right pieces, and my mental mind almost started chattering, but I let the secret self do what it needs to do. I’m getting better at this.

About two hours and forty minutes later, I now have a custom built table out of spare parts I found lying useless around the house. Not only that, since I don’t have any saws or tools handy, I somehow found all the things that don’t require assembly.

My secret self also had the idea to put heavy books as weight holders on each side to make sure the table doesn’t flip over. As I was wondering why I kept walking to basement over and over and lugging back heavy books, my secret self flashed an image of Indiana Jones into my mind. I’ve never seen the movie but know about replacing a thing with equal weight type of imagery.

My secret self finished all of the work with about a minute and forty seconds to spare, as my phone alarm as about to go off, letting me know it’s time for me to eat my next meal. Perfect timing to catch my breath and warm up my food.

I could’ve thought about this intellectually for years, which I have, and get nowhere. But somehow, if I can get my secret self involved, the whole thing gets done very fast and in a fun way.

It’s like I’m Bertie and have my very own Jeeves.