I don’t care about Pluto

May 24, 2017

Don’t you hate it when you’re watching something funny, like South Park, and all of a sudden there’s a commercial showing abused puppies and starving children?

People are suffering, the lady says, if only you could send them, oh I don’t know, ten dollars a month or something, the whole world would be better.

I’m watching a berkshire hathaway shareholder’s video and a lady and her daughter show up, holding props making a long-winded incoherent political statement about saving mother earth, making the whole thing awkward for everyone.

I’m at the grocery store, endure the hassle of finding and gathering all the food I need, hungry and waiting to get home, standing in line during the chaos, and when I’m almost outta there, the cashier asks if I want to donate one dollar for breast cancer.

Or even worse, there’s a guy ringing a bell right outside the store, asking you to give him your spare change to feed the homeless.

It’s not that I want puppies and children to starve or breasts to be cancered, but there’s a time and place for things.

I get equally annoyed when I’m watching a movie, sitcom, talk show, podcast or some other thing and that familiar science expert shows up talking about rocks billions of miles away from earth. Why aren’t we all looking out there and being amazed, he asks.

I get it, science is great. Yes, space is fucking nuts. The same shit that makes stars also makes humans. We’re all stardust. Fuckin great.

He’s a science evangelist and wants everyone to think smarter. Because everyone is dumb and people like him are here to enlighten us, and if only we could all think like them, the world would be better off. That’s his real agenda.

But what really happens in those situations is that we all tune out. I actually love science and new scientific discoveries, but when evangelists, of any type, start popping up in random places and try to push it down my throat, I have to flip the channel. Stop annoying us and be more artful in your political agenda if you want us to listen.

Facts and figures don’t move me.
They don’t touch me at all.

I’m not sure what to do after knowing I’m also made of oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, and whatnot. It’s like someone telling me all software is made of zeroes and ones. So what?

Recommend me a great movie, made of zeroes and ones, on netflix. Create a great piece of software that doesn’t crash or give me headaches. Make my shopping experience better with those same basic ingredients. Inspire me with fantasies of distant worlds like Asimov so that I want to travel there one day. And deliver it to me using zeroes and ones onto my kindle with one click. Then I’m interested.