Change your story, asap

July 5, 2016

beautiful garden
When we write, we’re mainly writing to ourself.
We put our work out there so that others can eavesdrop on our inner conversation, hopefully benefiting in some way.

It’s like giving yourself advice in public.

So, I’m going to give myself some advice and you get to come along for the ride.

Change your story
As I go through this journey of learning and self-discovery over nearly two decades of inner work, I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter what terrible things have happened in our lives, we need to change that old story into a new story, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

I’ve heard this from many different self-help authors. And while I intellectually understood, only recently am I getting it deep down.

We all have stories.
Stuff that happened with our parents. With our siblings. Our families, friends, high school, girlfriends, boyfriends, no friends, coworkers, bosses, car accidents, losing a limb, some trauma, blah blah blah.

It’s easy for me to recognize other people’s stories.
No matter what they’re talking about, the topics will center around two to three main life themes.

It’s usually a woe is me story or this went wrong back in the day story. Or someone didn’t listen to me even though I know better story.

A lot of wrestling podcasts are like this.
They talk about the good ol times and how things aren’t the same anymore. Or how someone screwed em over. Even if that happened 20 or 30 years ago! And they tell that same exact story every time they’re interviewed!!

By contrast, whenever someone asks Paul Heyman to talk about the past, he almost always avoids the question. He says he doesn’t like to live in the past. Only current and future topics. So far he’s the only one out of all the wrestling community who gets this point.

The reason to change the story is because no single thing should define us. We need to move forward and create new POSITIVE stories if we want our life to get better. Or at least have peace of mind and be content with what we have in the moment.

And our brain tends to have a negativity bias.
We usually only remember the bad things.

Our brain also has a habit of changing a memory every time we remember it, depending on our current mood. So we don’t even know for sure if what we think happened actually did.

Every time we stick to our negative story, that neural pathway becomes stronger and wider. At some point, our brains will become like concrete, not allowing anything new to come in. We all know people like that who’ve gone down the wrong path too far too long. They have the opposite of a beginner’s mind.

Please always remember.
Change your story.
Tell new (uplifting, empowering, positive) stories about yourself.

Plant some new neural pathway seeds. Water & fertilize them regularly. Protect the seedlings from the harsh sun and the blistering snow. At least until they can thrive on their own. Go out once in a while and pull out all those pesky weeds. Keep that garden thriving.

Onward and upward.

Image of garden