Empaths need to balance the highs with the lows

October 15, 2015

sinewave

There’s yin and yang.
Day and night.
Peaks and valleys.
Highs and lows.
Push and pull.
Tide comes in. Tide goes out.

When lifting weights, there’s an ideal rest period between sets.
Rest is equally important as lifting to make the proper gains.

Movies have high-speed chase scenes and low-speed talking scenes. With the right balance, we get a blockbuster. Wrong balance and the movie is either too boring or makes no sense. No one wants to watch a 2 hour chase scene.

The average human attention span is 90 minutes.
Then a 20 minute break is recommended.
This applies to studying, practicing, lectures, speeches, working, and anything mental. That’s why standup comedy specials are usually one hour long. One hour is funny. Two hours is … torture.

Men (and their mates) are familiar with the refractory period. Rare is the guy who can keep going and going and going and going.

The energizer bunny is a myth!

For highly sensitive people, empaths, people who feel too much, I think the swings are felt much deeper.

The highs will be higher and the lows lower than the average person.
This can be a gift and a curse.

The highs are great. Better than any drugs. Being in the supreme flow state where everything is magical.

But the lows are equally terrible. Out of alignment. Body & mind aches. Lethargy. Apathy. Blue mood. Depression.

I’ve been attempting to figure out this balancing act for myself.
Because majority of your friends and family will not understand your specific empathic needs. So you may feel like an odd duck.

The challenge is that I want every day to be a high. I want every day to be fireworks. But that is not possible.

I think it’s important to lean into the highs and lean into the lows.
Instead of leaning into the highs and resisting the lows.
Because resisting the lows makes it that much worse.

What this means in practical terms is that we need to vary what we do in each scenario.

Expect a few low days.
For me, the average is about 2 out of 7 days will be a low.
I prepare for it. I know it will happen.

But when the lows do happen, I tend to resist. Panic. Try to snap out of it. I drink coffee. Take my supplements. Try to exercise. Admonish myself for being low. I want to run errands. Hang out with people (a draining activity).

The better option is to enjoy the lows as much as we enjoy the highs.

Don’t think of the lows as negative days. Think of them as equally good as the high ones. And then, do nothing. Nonresistance. Lie around. Take naps. Self-care. Eat soothing foods. Watch fun shows. Wait for the tide to turn. Recognize the needs for the body to recover so that you can be high again another day.

And do remember all of this.
Because one of the traits of low days is forgetting all of the important lessons learned during highs.

You know how even the most experienced pilot will use checklists when taking off and landing? Well, you are the pilot of your body and mind. Each day is a new flight.

So, I keep notes and checklists on my phone handy.
One of em is titled: DO THIS ON LOW DAYS!

Resources:
Abe-Hicks: Imagine yourself on a trampoline. There’s a bounce up and a bounce down. The key is to expect the coming down. If the down is less extreme, then the up is less extreme. See yourself coming down and make sure the trampoline is lined up properly so that you can bounce back up again.

sine image source – wikipedia