July 7, 2015

I think porn has taken a hold of my brain.
And this is not a good thing.

At any time of the day, I can see any type of girl naked.
Old, young, skinny, curvy, tall, short, asian, white, brown, black, purple.

Porn is like high fructose corn syrup, mixed with cocaine, coated in double-gluten wheat, and deep fried in butter. And dusted with powdered sugar. Morphine as dipping sauce.

It’s addicting. It feels damn good. And afterwards, there’s shame & disgust.
And it’s hard to stop.

I’ve spent too long building large neural pathways in my brain that light up by watching multiple tabs of multiple women doing multiple things to themselves.
Neurons that fire together wire together.

Real life cannot compare to this dopamine-induced thrill ride.
It’s like eating donuts all my life and then trying a banana.

But like all addictions, there is a cure.
Build new neural pathways and let the old ones wither away.

There is hope.
I’ve quit many addictions in the past.
Facebook. Twitter. Binge drinking alcohol. Sugar. Soda. Watching tv. News. Gossip websites. Weighing myself daily. Mcdonald’s, Taco Bell, KFC, & Pizza Hut (thanks spider in my mexican pizza and multiple bouts of intense diarrhea!).

This is how I hope to conquer this mf’er that has a hold on me.
1. Realize there’s a problem
2. Add friction to make it harder to access those websites
3. Convince my conscious & subconscious self that watching porn fucks with my brain by handwriting pros and cons. Figure out exactly how porn affects the brain. Knowledge is power.
4. Balance out my neurochemicals. Maybe find other ways to get dopamine, endorphins, serotonin, and oxytocin.
5. Publicly declare my intentions (ahem, this post).
6. Put up daily reminders on my phone.
7. Create new cues, routines, and rewards – like Charles Duhigg recommends.
8. A bit of self-hypnosis. A dash of NLP. Some cognitive behavior therapy & reframing.
9. Associate porn as the devil and outwit it. Like Napoleon Hill would say. And associate porn with the resistance. And destroy it, like Steven Pressfield might recommend.
10. Lastly, disconnect orgasms from porn. I guess I have to dust off my imagination and put it to good use. And find real life women when my taste buds have adjusted.