Forgetting and Remembering

July 1, 2015

Every morning, I wake up.
Surprised that my dreams were only dreams.
And that I’m alive.

Ok, I’m in my bed again. I guess this is the real world.
Kinda thirsty. Could use a drink of water.
I have to pee. But I don’t want to get up.
What should I eat for breakfast?

Off to the races I go.
With my constant thoughts.
Reading, watching, hearing, thinking, writing, eating, talking, driving, shopping.

Vague memories of last night surface.
There was something I was supposed to remember.

Let’s check the notes on my phone.

Remember to breathe deeply
Be mindful
Everything always works out
Take it easy
Love yourself

Sounds like god-damn gibberish.

The feelings I had when I wrote those notes are gone by the time a new day starts.
It’s like when you write something while on psychedelic mushrooms. Things that would change all of humanity, you think. But reading them when sober sounds like nonsense.

This pattern goes on til about 8pm.

Down goes the sun.
The roads less crowded.
All the daily noise fades away.
And I start remembering again.

Oh yea.
The only things that really matter are loving myself & others. And breathing deeply. Drinking enough water. Pay attention to everything. Don’t multitask. Try to feel my heart beating. And the pulsations in my hands. Be fuckin mindful! Trusting that everything works out. Doing my best. Being nice to everyone. Giving rather than taking.

I get it. I feel it. I know it. This is the truth.

I’ll have to remember this tomorrow.
Let’s write a new note in my phone.
This time, I’ll use ALL CAPS.
And exclamation points!!!
I definitely will not forget.

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What I wrote while on mushrooms – in 20mf’n11 and I still forget!