My inner critic is like a bacterial outgrowth

May 16, 2015

For no apparent reason, I decided to head to a holistic dentist two months ago.
I have no idea why. I had been going to a standard dentist for the past three years. Getting my teeth cleaned every 4-6 months like clock work. And I had no complaints.

But my inner voice (the good quiet whisper) started telling me to try this new place out while my inner critic (the douche bag) said that it’s going to be a big fucking waste of time. Plus this new holistic dentist was going to cost a lot more.

I listened to my inner voice. I went. And it changed my life.

For the first time in my life, whatever the dentist said got me to floss daily! Miracle of all miracles. They also showed me microscopic pictures of my saliva, showing bad bacteria. This caused me to brush my teeth more frequently and also use a good mouthwash.

Lastly, the dental assistant noticed my tongue and said I have candida overgrowth.
How can she tell just by looking at my tongue??

She said there’s a whitish, yellowish mark on my tongue (known as oral thrush – do NOT look at online pics!) and that means I have candida outgrowth. The solution is to eat clean and take probiotics (good bacteria).

What the fuck?

I had no idea candida even existed, let alone it shows up on our tongue. And no doctor or dentist I’ve visited in the past has ever noticed this. How is that possible?

This brings me back to my inner critic.
You know that piece of shit voice in our head that is constantly criticizing every move? We all have one. There are many names for this. Steven Pressfield calls it Resistance. Rick Carson calls it our Gremlin.

The inner critic often produces feelings of shame, deficiency, low self-esteem, and depression. It may also cause self-doubt and undermine self-confidence. It is common for people to have a harsh inner critic that is debilitating.

Earley & Weiss identify seven types of inner critics—the perfectionist, the taskmaster, the inner controller, the guilt tripper, the destroyer, the underminer, and the molder.

wikipedia

Whatever the name, the inner critic is just like a bacterial outgrowth. I had totally forgotten about this guy for a couple of years. And during that time, he has been infecting my mind, body, and soul.

His favorite thing to do is kill my dreams while they are little seedlings. And stunt my creativity. By telling me I’m no good. And that there is no point in writing. Or recording podcasts. Or doing anything worthwhile.

Well I beat my inner critic yesterday by recording a god damn podcast. And it was fun as hell. I had forgotten how great it feels to be creative. It always pumps me up.

Today, my inner voice wanted me to write this article. But I was kinda feeling lazy, or tired, or I can do it another day. Excuses started building up and I almost went to bed.

It’s 11:52pm and I realized those excuses are exactly what that sly inner critic gremlin likes to say. His job is to provide the resistance. To stop me from writing.

I’ve had enough of his bullshit.
Enough is enough and it’s time for a change!

–>PUBLISH!