My God Damn Diet Grind

February 9, 2014

“Life is sometimes hard.
Things go wrong, in life and in love and in business and in friendship
and in health and in all other ways that life can go wrong.
And when things get tough, this is what you should do.
Make good art.”

― Neil Gaiman

I don’t know if I call this art.
But I feel like crap.

27 days straight.
I’ve been eating steamed cabbage & a tiny piece of lean steak.

Before that, 42 days of maintenance.
More food options, but still stricter than my normal jabba the hutt diet.

Before that, 42 days of cabbage & steak.

111 god damn days.

No bbq sauce. No fat. No sugar. No captain & cokes. No orange soda. No grubhub binges. No chinese buffets. No nothing fun.

And the worst part is, I’m doing this to myself.
I’m voluntarily on a diet.

Even worser part, it’s not even hard.
I have no cravings. I’m losing weight every day. I’ve been dreaming of this miracle since 16yrs old. I’m almost 33.

Worser than worser, I have more options.
I could eat chicken, tomato, asparagus, ground beef, shrimp, crab, spinach. Whatever.

14 more days of cabbage & steak.
And lose another 8-10lbs.

Who cares.

I’m sick of the fridge rattling. I’m sick of not having a job. I’m sick of dark days. I’m sick of snow. I’m sick of chicago. I’m sick of music. I’m sick of netflix. I’m sick of sleeping. I’m sick of being awake. I’m sick of audiobooks. I’m sick of meditating. I’m bored. I’m lonely. I’m sick of people.

Mentally, I’ve had enough.

This is part of the journey where everything sucks.

Welcome to the fucking grind.