[Download EBook 1st Draft] + Cock Pics + Passion + Authenticity = :)

January 14, 2013

[UPDATE: This is a long article & I had a lot of fun writing it. But if you want to skip straight to the point: click here. Note: must be viewing as full post for link to work.] [UPDATE 2: Or just click here to download literally the 1st stage of my project.]

I’ve been trying a new happiness experiment ever since my ayahuasca experience in April 2012.

The reasoning goes like this.

Old Thoughts (my first 30yrs of life):

I’m unhappy.

I want to be happy.

To be happy:

a. Need to lose 50lbs+ –> results in trying every lose weight fast diets
b. Need 6pack abs
c. Need to be a millionaire –> try every get rich quick schemes (ie: buying every im product)
d. Need to own a lot of real estate rentals
e. Need to own my own businesses
f. Need to own a lot of stock
g. I hate winter/snow/fall in chicago = move to cali or some tropical island
h. I have to date a lot of super hot women

You get the idea.

This is a lot of pressure because most of these goals are lifelong processes, just to master one field. There are very few masters of every field: health, real estate, stock market, running businesses (plural!).

The goal posts are so huge & oftentimes vague that my inner self is always unsatisfied. Even when I achieve a goal (ie: own a rental property, make money online, lose 20lbs, date a cute girl), I’m wanting more and more.

This unhappiness was a self-made prison while living in the most free & prosperous nation the world has ever known.

Anyways, that all changed when I heard a Tony Hsieh speech.

Tony is a super smart kid who had tried to make money all his life. When he was a young kid, he thought the way to millions was to buy worms wholesale, breed them & sell them at retail.

He sold buttons with logos on it from home.

After college, he got a prestigious job at Oracle. During the dotcom boom. And he was super bored & unhappy.

He & his roommate started a part-time website building business. That eventually grew into LinkExchange which caused a bidding war –> eventually Microsoft bought them out for $200 million+.

He had all the money he ever needed and was bored.

Then he had to come to terms with figuring out what his passion is, what makes him happy to wake up everyday. That happened to be the people, culture & business of Zappos (one of his investments at that time).

Long story short, he’s one of the most innovative CEOs ever. His whole model of operating is to focus 100% on employee happiness (not customer happiness). Find the best most optimistic nice employees, train them, treat their fairly and let them be free to do what they do best. All of this should translate to happier employees, better sales, word of mouth, higher profits, larger business moat, etc.

This is a super unique way of operating a business.

You can read his book Delivering Happiness to get the inside story of his life.

This post isn’t about Tony & his amazing success.

Ok, I got sidetracked there.

This is about ME, dammit. It’s about my happiness & success.

Tony’s speech & book is the first time I realized we don’t have to aim for things/events to achieve happiness. We can directly aim to be happy first and then the rest will follow.

I’m adopting his philosophy towards life. This is a grand experiment, which is 100% going to work. My “employee” is my inner self, subconscious, my shadow. Employee isn’t the right word. My teammate.

If I 100% please my inner self, I will be rewarded with all the things I could ever dream of.

Amazing breakthru.

Tony also taught me about the “positive psychology” field that has been focusing on what makes us happy.

There is a formula.

That’s the reason for my blog. And my twitter. And my youtube channel. And my itunes podcast.

I’m trying a grand experiment in real time. Going from super miserable to super happy. And to see in real time if everything else does come once I get happy.

Well I’m happy nowadays.

The most happy I’ve ever been. It’s a surreal feeling.

Like the feeling you get while pre-gaming before heading to the bars on a friday nite (while in college): 2-3 strong captain morgan/cokes in a plastic cup full of cold ass ice cubes + your best college friends + 90s rap music blasting + dice/card games + foozball.

But those nights never last. 2-3 drinks turn to 10+ drinks + head/stomach swimming + bad choices (physical & verbal) + la bamba’s chorizo/steak burritos + hangover.

That’s the rockstar approach to happiness, as Tony mentions in his speech. Those never last. Our body acclimates to that level and soon we need more & more just to maintain the same level.

Instead of making blog/podcast/tweets/videos for the public (external approval seeking), I’m 100% making it aimed at pleasing my inner self (inner locus of power).

Of course, I hope you enjoy reading my stuff, I really do.

But I’m experimenting with not caring about public approval & focusing fully on my own approval.

Am I proud of what I’m putting out? Am I speaking my truth? Am I being authentic? Am I being nice (to myself + others)? Am I being pleasant? Am I being optimistic? Am I ok with mistakes? Am I only talking about things that I’m passionate about? Am I ok with negative reviews (none yet : )? Am I posting whenever my inner self wants to (rather than a rigid schedule)?

You get it.

This is all an experiment. And I’m learning & evolving w/ each tweet, each post.

Because in the end, the outer is just a reflection of the inner anyways. Right? That’s what the mystics & philosophers teach us. I don’t just take that at face value. I’m trying my hardest to prove that to myself by posting as positively as I can.

It’s easy to do that online & tougher to in real life. I sometimes go into a negative thought spiral or start to go down the angry rant path. It’s one of my all time specialties. To notice one mistake/error and focus on it for hours and hours and destroy it with angry nukes.

I’m a used to be a world heavyweight champion at turning mountains out of molehills.

Preview of what’s to come:

1. During ayahuasca induced visions, I saw & heard every podcast/video I’d ever make. Seemed surreal but I started making more audio podcasts as soon as I came back to the states & finally made videos starting in June.

2. I’m being authentic, as much as possible.

That means I use my real name for my website. That means I put my picture on the site (I don’t like taking pics) to show everyone what I look like. It means I use my real name for twitter + my real pic + tweet authentically whatever I want to talk about.

No one in my social/family circle likes anything I’m interested in. And it normally would be super embarrassing if people knew I was into psychedelics, channeling, law of attraction, wwe, or even porn.

Yea there I said it. I love porn. Big boobied phat assed porn! All flavors. Something’s wrong with you if you don’t watch porn. Why wouldn’t you? It’s free and abundant!

I even got my car license plates with my name on it. Partly for my ego. Partly so that I would drive nicer. It’s hard to cut people off or honk at them with angry impatience when they know exactly who’s driving.

Authenticity.

I’m not hiding anymore. I’m done.

And this in turn has turned my shadow into my best friend.

I’m not hiding anymore or shunning my shadow anymore. I’m not embarrassed of my shadow’s desires. There is nothing quite like having your own shadow as your best friend. That’s where a lot of our happiness is hiding, especially creativity. Don’t believe me? Just read more about it. It’s free. Just google search it right now you son of a skanky biytach!

; )

When we pretend in public to be a clean cut person & shun our shadow – the shadow resents it. That’s where weird shit comes in: ie publicly gay-hating politicians are finally caught sucking strange dick in airport bathrooms.

Anyways, I really didn’t consciously plan on writing this much. I was just initially going to post three pictures. But once I started typing, my subconscious took over and all these ideas started to flow like rivers of honey.

Sweet sexy raw organic killer bee honey.

There is no writer’s block here.

It’s a fire hydrant of creativity.

Ok I’m still typing….

I wanted to say that I’m creating my first ever passion project.

I’ve in the past created real & info products = just to make money.

This one is 100% aimed at pleasing my subconscious and it’s going to be amazing and I hope you buy it and give me all your money. haha.

I figured out how to go from bedridden anxiety filled depression year after year to be happy. It’s lasted for 7 months straight now, growing each month.

And I want to capture the lessons before they are lost in the sands of time.

Because most books are written by heroes who are at elite level. They’ve already achieved everything in life and reflect back on their lessons. Michael Jordan. Warren Buffett. Steve Jobs. Tony Hsieh. Phil Jackson. etc.

By that time, it’s possible that they lost some of the nitty gritty steps.

I’m fresh off going from level zero to level one. I know every single minute detail. I’m living it right now. I have detailed journals & spreadsheets of my mood.

I’m going to create my first ever ebook. Actually, my vision is to create the first ever info product that captures as many of your senses as possible.

Not just written word. But combined with video and audio. And pictures. And self-created illustrations.

Using brevity & verbosity at the same time.

Organizing thoughts & chapters exactly the way I like to learn.

I’m even trying to figure out how to include the sense of smell! That’s hard to do in a eproduct but I’ll figure it out.

Anyways, the other day I was lying in bed but was forced to get up by my subconscious because the intensity of the creativity was so strong. That happens quite frequently now.

I tried to be hesitant by telling myself I’ll remember the ideas later.

My subconscious nudged me to do more.

Then I opened the note app on iphone to jot down the bulletpoints.

But the flooding was too strong.

I resisted for a second (old habits) then finally got up to my computer, turned it on and started typing. It sounded like a gang of horses sprinting, thuggishly.

And I also created a few illustrations.

Nothing polished. I do my best work in paint. Back in the day, that used to be drawing cock and (hairy) balls. My friends know that their college door whiteboards were always full of cock n ball pics back in the day.

During the myspace days, their virtual walls were obliterated w/ cock n balls.

Let’s see if I can recreate that visual for you. Hold on one sec…

Ok, I did it. haha, made me laugh out loud. It’s not as polished as back in the day, been a bunch of years since the last time I drew one of these….

cocknballs

: )

(I’m sorry all of my college dorm neighbors + myspace friends! Or anyone whose phone number I had! Cock n balls came at everyone! No one was spared)

8======D ~ ~

Ebook Illustrations:

Anyways, the following three images are first (and last) drafts. They will be included in my upcoming passion product.

A. Nature of Reality:
nature of reality

1. Things we know
2. Things we know that we don’t know
3. Things we don’t know that we don’t know

B. Expected Mastery Curve:
mastery curve 1

What we expect learning a new skill will be like. We have the wrong expectation in our mind (thru media + get rich quick products + impatience) = getting frustrated & quitting often.

C. What Mastery is Really Like:
mastery curve 2

Once we realize the true path to mastery (ie: lower expectations to the floor), we will not be disappointed and stay on the path. Recognize & appreciate small victories.

Credit for mastery curve idea by George Leonard’s book: Mastery

One last bonus: unedited first draft of ebook

Ok, my subconscious is saying “fuck it.” It wants me to practice the ultimate in not caring.

This is not a preplanned post. I’m writing it down as the words/ideas come out.

I’m really excited for this passion product and want to share what I have with you. It’s really at ground 0.000000001%. It’s first draft, unedited. I just wrote it in one sitting one night as the ideas flowed.

But I want to share it with you. Check it out. Lower your expectations as low as you can, then drop the floor some more and relower your expectations.

Once I finish this project, it’s going to be baller. I’ll be recording videos, audio, more illustrations and possible scents to make the ultimate experience.

[Download the pdf here]

I hope I have given you enough information, inspiration, motivation & courage to just do what you really want to do & be as authentic as possible. It will make you happy.

Trust me.

Lastly:

Whenever I write a post, I seem to just play & replay the same song over and over and over and over x 100.

This post was inspired by: