Week 14 Paleo: Happiness Bomb, I’m in the Vortex

November 13, 2012


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Exactly how I eat, supplements, daily habits I track, weekly weight loss charts & more can be seen here. I also added all the different junk food I used to eat on there. It’s amazing at all the poison I fed my mind + body!

Data:
Weight is up +1.1 lb over last week. And this did not demoralize me like it did in prior diets.

Last week, I was at 276.7
This week, 277.8

The reason is that I had a late dinner last night. A few slices of meat+cheese pizza without crust (cheese is not paleo but I compromised – “don’t let perfect ruin good”). 12 slices of thick cut bacon. A banana.

And when I woke up this morning, my weight was 280.8 lbs, meaning I was up +4.1 week over week. Now I know that’s ONLY because I still have food in my stomach because I have zero cheat days and barely eat most days.

Then a little while later & a couple of #2s, my weight went down to 277.8.

You get what I’m saying, right?

Anyways, trend is still down. I’m still on track to have the highest weight loss month yet.

And I’m still beating my initial goal of losing at least -1 lb per week or better. I followed Warren Buffett’s advice of stepping over 1 foot bars rather than look for 7 foot bars to jump over.

Insights & Mood:

More importantly, the reasoning I just provided above is sign that my mind has rewired itself to be more positive than negative. This is something I’ve been working on EVERY single day.

My spirits are up. My mood is up. My happiness is up. I’m bursting with energy every day. This is the longest string of exponential happiness I’ve ever experienced.

A lot of things are going right.

Haven’t had bad carbs in 14 weeks straight. Zero cheat days. ie: no bread, rice, potatoes, fries, buns, pasta, soda, diet soda, cookies, candy bars, brownies, etc. Longest string ever in my life. And it’s been effortless, I don’t even think about it. It just happens day after day.

Like a fucking champ, my subconscious is knocking homeruns out of the park for me at every single at bat. All I have to do is be the zen master Phil Jackson and make sure my superstar subconscious is happy & motivated. We’re winning championship rings here. Repeat. Threepeat. Bangyourmompeat (sorry couldn’t resist!).

I’m still drinking the bulletproof coffee, sea salt in water in the am, earthing, light therapy, taking 100% of supplements, drinking tons of water, high dose fish oil, etc etc etc.

I’ve been going out of the house more effortlessly & with ease every day. Normally fall and winter in Chicago are the months I become a super hermit. Complete opposite is happening now. I don’t even see the darkness outside, I have a huge floodlight inside my brain 24 hrs a day and this is the first time that’s ever happened in my life.

There are 1000s of benefits happening now and may seem unbelievable for someone to read and almost sounds unbelievable for me to write them out. But it’s happening and I’m witnessing astonishing changes in my mood every day.

I had so much energy couple days ago that I couldn’t sit still. I read a book. Worked on this blog. Started pacing around. Finally, I just went out of my apt to go for a walk!

A WALK, I SAY!

And I never go for walks. I never really enjoyed exercising.

But I went for a walk, in the rain, in the darkness, while wearing shorts & sandals. It was 50 degrees and drizzling.

I originally planned for a 10min walk around the apt complex but turned it into a 1hr walk around the neighborhood because I had more energy. Even when I got back, I was not out of breath, my ankles didn’t hurt, my back didn’t hurt, my feet didn’t hurt, my spirits were high and I could have walked even more!

It was raining and I was more excited to upload the video I recorded during my walk – I was that incredulous at my high amount of happiness that I had to get it on video!

You can see that here: I went for 1hr walk & I feel great!

My mind is on a roll. The rider & the elephant (conscious + subconscious) are working together for the first time.

My subconscious gives me new ideas, inspiration and keeps me on track. My shadow and I are merged as one. I don’t dislike my “negative” aspects anymore.

We’re one. We are working together. And I’m bursting with happiness.

These are things I’ve been planning, plotting and dreaming of for most of my life. And it’s finally happening all at the same time.

I’m sure if you’ve been following along on my blog, you should be able to notice a huge change in the way I’m talking and sounding in my audio/video.

The first podcast I ever made was in Feb 21, 2012 where it was the tail end of last winter and I was just feeling super miserable. I was feeling anxious and nervous and neurotic and way too nervous to even walk out of my apt. Then I went for a walk and decided to record my first ever podcast while sitting on the grass by the lake by our apt.

You can listen to that here: Today I went for a walk

I’ll admit, I’ve NEVER listened to that audio, ever. I can’t. I just recorded it and immediately uploaded it as a mental exercise.

Nowadays, with the newer audio, I don’t mind listening to my own voice. You know how it is, we all have trouble hearing our own voice.

I had that problem x10000. I never could even play one second of any of the audio I created for most of my podcasts.

But the newer ones, I can listen to them over and over again, complimenting myself on the good points and noticing places where I could improve next time.

ZERO negative self criticism.

ZERO

ZERO

Did you hear me? I can actually enjoy my own voice. I laugh when I make a joke. I smile when I cough or stutter over a word. I’m impressed by own thoughts, which seem alien to me. I can’t believe that I’m the one saying those profound things.

It’s an interesting feeling.

And I’m doing this 100% without drugs, alcohol or psych medicine.

I’ve tried all of the above in my previous attempts to feel good but this is all self generated. I did it. I finally figured it out.

I finally was able to create a self-generating power source inside my soul which can refuel me.

This was my dream. I have been dreaming of this moment since high school.

I don’t have to rely on outside approval anymore. I don’t feel down when someone criticizes or even frowns at me. As a matter of fact, neither of those things happen anymore.

Complete opposite happens. Everyone is nice to me. Strangers smile at me. Girls look at me and give me the “eye.” You know the eye, right? Like check me out.

People give me free coupons without me asking. I get free discounts randomly. People keep talking to me and I can keep up with them, even can make strangers laugh. I am comfortable around strangers.

These are all miracles.

Anyways, I could keep writing like this forever but you get the idea.

How did I do this? Well, every single thing I’ve learned, I’ve been sharing that on my blog.

But to quickly summarize:

Eating paleo
Bulletproof coffee + grassfed butter + coconut oil
High dose fish oil
High dose probiotics
Other supplements
Keeping track of stats publicly on blog
Following my passion & making audio/video/blogging/tweeting even though I was nervous & self conscious
Working verbally & mentally w/ my shadow
Working with my subconscious
Keeping a journal
Avoiding near 100% of all negative people, places & things
Committing to myself to only do 100% of fun things
Being selfish about how I feel & wanting to only feel good
Avoiding news, commercials, negative podcasts, tv shows, etc
Getting good sleep w/ eye mask + soft ear plugs + tracking via zeo
Earthing mat
Light therapy
Incense
Having beautiful houseplants that look great + provide fresh air
Filtered water used for all purposes: drinking, cooking, even for plants
Talking nicely to myself as if I were my own success coach
Goals written on pieces of paper pasted all over the apt, at places where I look

Throwing out old hole-y worn out clothes that make me feel bad when I wear them but I kept them solely for sentimental reasons. I trashed all of them, finally. I only want to be surrounded by things that are of top quality.

Having symbols of excellence & fun all around me: mario mushrooms, lightsaber, wwe championship belt, rising phoenix figure, back to the future delorean toy car, spongebob squarepants, etc

I got rid of my mercury dental filling I’ve had since 10 yrs old

I got new stylish glasses for first time in my life. The other one had a metal piece that was rubbing against my nose for YEARS but I refused to get new ones. Finally treated myself.

Gave myself permission to buy a $20 plastic desktop fan because the metal one I’ve used for past 5 year sounds like a jet engine. This took along time for me to accept since I normally don’t treat myself. Fuck it, it’s my life. I do what I want.

I don’t do dishes anymore. Fuck them. Even though everyone thinks I’m crazy, I use paper plates and plastic forks/knives. It makes me happy not to have dirty dishes in the sink and I find it very inefficient for me to take time to wash them. I don’t care about extra cost, it’s my life, I do what I want. For years, I didn’t do that because family and friends told me I’m crazy for wanting to use paper plates. You know what, fuck them. They’re not happy either, why am I taking their advice.

I no longer do my own laundry. Doing laundry is so time consuming & inefficient. I take it to a laundromat dropoff, where nice friendly ladies will wash & fold my clothes for only $1 a lb. I spend like maybe $25 every two months. Is it worth it to spend $12/month on yourself to be happy? Every single person I’ve told this to laughs at my face and thinks I’m wasting money and am lazy. Well fuck them. They can suck my cock. I use that energy & time wasted to read more books and do 100% fun things.

I’ve started listening to music again, the past week. I used to love music, until college. Then I stopped listening to all music. Sure, I’d turn on the radio here and there while driving but never again enjoyed sitting in my room blasting amazing music on my headphones.

That part of me died for almost a decade now. But the past week, I’ve found myself spending 3 hours or more rediscovering my old favorite songs on youtube, blasting them, and working on projects like a CHAMP.

This is a good sign. When the music dies, it’s a sign of sadness. When the music comes back alive, well you know what that means.

Reading TONS of books, and not just in one field. Every field. psychology, philosophy, economics, business, marketing, spirituality, health, positive psychology, etc.

I don’t have my mind made up anymore. I’m not stubborn. I’m not dogmatic. I’ll read any book and keep an open mind to the author’s ideas. I’ll even try them out. If it doesn’t work, I’ll try something else. If it works, I’ll keep doing them. I’ll even read religious books to see what the hubbub is all about. And I don’t judge religions anymore. There are some profound stuff being said in those books.

I don’t care if something is shunned by mainstream science or health. I don’t care if no science can prove something that’s working for me. I really don’t care. I’m 100% focused on fun & happiness – for me.

I don’t try to change others anymore. I used to fight and try so hard to get someone to listen to me. Fuck them. No one changes. Only I can change. Only I can set an example for myself and others. Why struggle when I can use that energy & time to do fun things for myself?

There are 1000s of more things I’m doing. All of which probably resonate with you. You have all the things you need to improve your happiness existing in your mind right now. You already know what you want to do. The last step is to give yourself permission to feel good & be selfish even though all your family & friends will look down on you.

Well, I am fucking giving you permission. I give you my 100% permission to do whatever your heart desires to make yourself happy.

Want to take a trip by yourself to Vegas? Do it. Fuck how much it costs. You’re smart and will figure out how to make money later.

Want to buy a new video game? Do it.

Feel like staying in rather than go to your friend’s wedding. Fuck your friend. He’ll be fine. If he’s not, you’ll make a new friend. Tell him to go fuck himself.

Is your selfish friend making you plan her lavish birthday party? Fuck her. Tell her to do a shot of goldschlager & suck three cocks (one white, one black, one indian). At the same time. You have more important things to do. You’re focusing on your own happiness for the first time in your life. That dirty skank will come crawling back when she sees you shining like the champion you are.

Ok, I hope you get the idea. I’m not superior or smarter than you. I already knew these thoughts for years but was too scared to do it. But once you hit bottom – once you are so miserable that you’ll try anything to feel good – you will also change. Just like I did. Nothing special about me.

And life keeps getting better and better.

One final thing. I’ve been 100% selfish the past few months, hoarding my mood & happiness like it’s a small baby bird. It’s fragile and I had to keep it alive and well.

Now that I’m on a roll, my initial selfishness is now paying off for others. I’m more energetic. I’m sharing ideas w/ family and friends. I give compliments to strangers. I make everyone around me feel as good as I possible can. I’m even blogging and making videos for you, right now.

But you can’t give until you have something to give, is what I figured out. So fill your own bucket first, and eventually it will overflow and reach other people’s buckets.

I’m done! Hope this made as much sense in the written word as it does in my mind.

I’m going to make my morning batch of bulletproof coffee and blast some awesome music on my headphones. I got some happy projects to work on. It’s finally about damn time.

The champ, really, is finally here.

I brought my motivated small army (conscious self, subconscious self, shadow, higher self) to wage war. We’re working together as a team.

And it’s time to lay the whooping.


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Hope you’re having a good day.

; )