My Unfair Competitive Advantage: How a Slow Tortoise Can Beat a Hare

November 10, 2012

(Update: Too lazy to read? I recorded an audio version of this post, click here to scroll down)

This is the art of winning an unfair game.

I’m not the smartest, strongest or wealthiest.

I’m not cunning.

I’m not slick.

I’m easily fooled & pretty naive. And I started w/ a severe mental disadvantage for 99% of my life (super negative, quitter mindset).

But I really want to win.

Really really really really really really really (you get the idea – ok two more) really really want to WIN!


I will read more books faster & more often than 99% of my competition.

I’ll implement good ideas faster. I’ll fail often & fast until I hit the golden idea.

I’m willing to fail 99% of the time while others laugh at my mistakes. I’ll try anything, if it works (including new ideas & belief systems that seem “out there”).

I’m willing to put 100% effort into self-improvement while others are part timers in the game.

This means I’ll quit my job, not have a gf, not have a wife, not have kids, not hang w/ negative family/friends, not go to bars on the weekends, stop drinking alcohol, not buy newest trendy clothes/car…. whatever it takes.

I’ll do anything (as long it’s fun, moral, safe & doesn’t hurt others) to sharpen my skills while others are taking it easy watching the superbowl.

I’ll take psychedelic mushrooms. I’ll do ayahuasca. I’ll drink organic coffee blended w/ grassfed butter. I’ll do colon cleanses. I’ll use herbal remedies. I’ll go to alternative medicine doctors. I’ll eat organic. I’ll use float tanks.

I’ll get down on my knees & pray to the muses for good ideas.

I’ll beg & negotiate with my shadow to help me achieve my goals. I’ll post my goals on little pieces of paper posted all around the house.

I’ll meditate. I’ll believe in esoteric law of attraction teachers. I’ll tip more than I need to without expecting anything in return. I’ll be friendly to everyone to send out as much positive energy as possible.

I’ll use astrology. I’ll use tarot cards. I’ll read tea leaves. I’ll get my palms read. I’ll listen to channelers. I’ll use psychics. I’ll use reiki. I’ll use reconnective healing. I’ll use eft. I’ll use NLP. I’ll use lifeline technique. I’ll use psychotherapy.

I’ll use light therapy to cure my winter depression. I’ll use incense to set the right tone in my room. I’ll use feng shui. I’ll use handwriting analysis to figure out your secrets. I’ll read every stock investing book ever & keep trying even though I lost all my money in the dot com bubble.

I’ll blog, tweet, make videos & podcasts just to train my mind to be more positive.

I’ll buy a $300 WWE Heavyweight Championship belt & wear it around the house & in public to reinforce to my psyche that I’m a champion.

I flew by myself for the first time ever to go California (also 1st time) to learn dating techniques from top pick up artists in the world.

(Read my 2008 pickup bootcamp story here: where I overcame a group of hostile hot girls calling me ugly in a crowded bar!)

I’ll read every relationship, dating, sex book out there to attract & keep a highly intelligent quality woman. I’ll attract the woman of my dreams by becoming the man of her dreams.

I’m going to get a hot chick to put me on her radar:

I will set my phone on vibrate 100% of the time for rest of my life so I’m never bothered by another phone call again. I will delete 27000+ archived emails just to take that burden off my brain.

I’m willing to quit facebook, delete all my posts, friend connections, pictures & tags to free my mind from that addictive prison.

I erased my linkedin profile + all the connections & positive comments left on my profile so that I never get another job again. I burned all my bridges to a path to working for someone else at a job I hate. Never again.



I’ll reveal all my secrets on this blog so that a future prospective boss can spy on me and decide not to hire me because I seem “crazy.”

This is it. I went all in. All my chips are at stake here. There is no way out.

I landed on enemy territory w/ my small army & ordered them to burn the ships down. Either we win or die trying.

THIS is the art of winning an unfair game.

This is known as the Moneyball approach, used by Billy Beane & shared to the world by Michael Lewis.

This is how Will Smith destroys the competition. He’s working when you’re sleeping. He’s working when you’re eating. He’s working when you’re flirting with girls at Tilted Kilt.

This is known as the Count of Monte Cristo approach: where the naive uneducated hero loses everything in his life & is betrayed by his best friend who sends him to the harshest prison in the land and steals his beautiful soulmate fiance. Rest of the story, you’ll have to see for yourself! (watch 2002 movie version)

This is how Obama trounced Romney in 2012 with a superior ground game while his competition were flush with more money & arrogance.

This is how a slow tortoise can beat a fast cocky hare. I’ll turn an unfair advantage around by wanting to win more than the hare.

And my mission is to provide inspiration for all the tortoises out there so that they can learn faster & become better than I am by learning from my mistakes.

: )

(Thoughts fueled by a large glass of bulletproof coffee + grassfed unsalted butter + coconut oil. Thanks @bulletproofexec, again).

Audio version of this post, read enthusiastically by the people’s champ!

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