My Mushroom Trip Report From 12.1.11

September 6, 2012

(Photo by Wikipedia)

I just found this trip report I wrote as I was coming down from a psychedelic mushroom trip. I wrote this report as an instructional for someone else – what it would feel like.

I’m attaching it here, exactly as I wrote it when I was coming down from the trip, unedited (except for names).

Inspired to share by Ari Shaffir & his shroomfest post.

Date: 12/1/11
Time: 8pm
Dose: 3.5g dried
Location: home, alone
Frequency: 3rd time ever

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alright – just came back to normal. so for the third time now (every trip) – the guides or myself or whatever is talking to me is urging to share the news with you.

and it’s weird in a way that you and i aren’t different but imagine there is one juice or spirit or force and you are all knowing. then you infuse it into all the different humans in the world.

so in a way, me telling you this is just me trying to tell myself this.

the trip always starts the same and it’s scary in the beginning. i ALWAYS think i need the right music or i think i’ll play mario galaxy or whatever – but it never turns out that way.

The Trip – Steps of the Journey

1. You eat. you sit there nervous. you start wondering if it was the right thing to do or not. you adjust the area – put on clothes, take off clothes, have the right amount of water nearby. mess around with good music and volume amounts.

2. you become engrossed in whatever you’re doing – for me it’s going from song to song in youtube. i played mario galaxy for like 10 mins but found it way too hard and headachey to do . what happens is you’ll be super engrossed in whatever you like doing – and then you look around and notice like 30 mins have passed and you’ll know that you’re in the spirit world.

3. this is just the beginning. so every time i just blast the music full blast and it sounds better than anything in the world. like every cell of your body can absorb every note of music and each music sound feels like a kaleidoscope of lights and colors and your cells soak.

4. THIS IS THE PART I’VE forgotten about the last two time but made it a point to remember this time.

so just like clockwork – about an hour or 1.5 hrs into the trip – i’ll have to pee. it’s happened all three times. so i’ll take off headphones, walk into the bathroom and pee and i’ll see tons of colors.

imagine you see everything as normal day to day – add another layer of thin film on top of it.

that means you’re in the spirit world. i drew it down but it’s like if you just look into some space – and zone out – and things start floating in your vision.

now imagine all of those filaments connected in colors and there’s a network of it and you’re on the inside looking out.

5. Each time as im peeing – i get an insane amount of inspiration, thoughts, energy, good feelings and insight.

then as i come back – i see the computer music headphones on the liv room table and realize those were just tools to get here and i just know i dont need them.

This is the part i always forgot about the last two trips.

6. Then i lay down to sleep. But sleeping while awake. It feels so good that it’s painful almost.

and it’s a literal trip in the mind. like taking a long road with spirit guides helping you get there.

because there will be a lot of resistance. like my mind didn’t want to let go and id feel the resistance in my body. then spirit guides or my higher mind told me to just breathe and let it go – and every time i breathed – i’d go higher and higher in the mind.

so it’s a tunnel. and my mind is traveling from now til like a higher dimension. the higher dimension has all the knowledge of all of eternity and you can just know everything.

the question will always be – how do you know it’s real vs if it’s just a hallucination. the weird thing is this – just like you know you’re alive and a person right now. as sure you are of that.

now imagine when you’re taking the trip – and you can see yourself as you were – but then you already knew how you are in the spirit realm.

meaning – the spirit realm doesn’t seem like an unfamiliar place – but rather you already knew it existed and you’re just returning.

just like when you dream weird things – and you wake up and realize that was just a dream and this is the real world.

but when you take a trip – you realize that you already KNEW that the real life is just imaginary and the spirit world is real.

it’s like a weird knowing. you just know it. it’s not fake or hallucination or delusion. you just know everything. why you live. why there are people around you and the way they behave. why some things are tough and some things are easy. why you have family and why some are douches and some arent.

i would bet all the money in the world that it’s real. and it’s hard to explain to someone who hasn’t been there because i used to read books and people would say the same thing and i thought they were crazy.

anyways.

7. This is the toughest part. i can see why people have bad trips or puke or just get scared forever.

so im laying in bed feeling amazing about how the sheets feel, how the pillow feels, how good air feels. and im literally traveling in my mind from this dimension to a higher plane – but only at the pace of my breath.

if i stop breathing, it stops. if i panic, it stops. but if i allow it, i start rising.

but it’s also super painful. it’s like im an onion with each layer being painfully plucked away from me. each layer is whatever weird beliefs i have, or the douchy things ive done, or things like that.

it’s very painful but if i accept it, it goes fast. if i resist, it’s like torture. but there is no escape. it’s like being in a roller coaster tied up but you cant leave and it’s a replay of your life and every good and bad thing you’ve done. mainly bad things.

the person controlling the roller coaster is your higher spirit and it’s teaching you a lesson – not in a bad way but just like watching a movie.

one part, i resisted so much that i felt my stomach wanting to puke. then i analyzed myself and just accepted it. and it went away.

i think people with bad trips don’t realize this and resist and it will fuck your mind up.

it was so painful that i promised myself never to do this again. i wanted to throw all the dried kunjapples (edit: shrooms) away.

but painful not how you would picture it being pain – but like deep down how you would feel if you kicked a kitten or something and knew it was wrong.

SO IT’S SUPER IMPORTANT TO BE humble and accepting and knowing of this part. I always forget to remember this part to tell you. Because when i wake up i feel great, i eat something, pass out and forget about this part.

Super super important to accept your flaws and take the journey and breathe and just be humble overall. any arrogance or ego or stubbornness will be thrown at you by you at the most pain ever.

8. So step 7 is like a mix of pleasure with intense pain of introspection. someone evil taking this trip will just get fucked over by how intense realization it can do to you.

you’ll realize that everything you’re doing is bullshit and how evil or dumb or mean or stubborn you can be. super deep.

but if you can handle that part of the trip, step 8 is the reward.

it’s like being under a cold waterfall under a mountain. of course i have no idea what that feels like – you might say. but i KNEW when i came out of the trip that that’s how it felt. like being fully washed by the purest coldest water of all time.

maybe that’s why japanese people and monks and stuff bathe under mountain cold water – to purify mentally and physically.

makes sense now.

but in this step – you’re still buzzing and still in the spirit world. you see the colorful filaments everywhere but you feel like you know everything.

we all know how it’s like to live. imagine every living thing in the universe is hooked up to this power source. but we never know how it feels to be on the other side.

this part of the trip, you are reversed. you don’t have any ego or personality. you see the entire universe and then you see the small part you’re playing as the human you chose to be.

a lot of thoughts, good feelings inspiration will come to you. imagine the most fun you’ve ever had doing the most fun and fulfilling project you’ve ever done – and all the teachers and students were amazed at how you did it – and the inspiration you felt and joy – imagine now feeling that in every cell of your body and knowing that you can tap into it any time you want.

9. So im at step 9 right now where im coming down and coherent. it feels like i spent years taking this trip – though it’s only been like 5 hours. but it felt like a lifetime of information.

i feel so amazing that i cant describe it. like being a newborn. like no negative thoughts.

10. so last two times, the question was – what to do next? I’ll feel good for a while then back to the rut.

this time i think i figured it out. normally – ill feel good, then drive somewhere pick up greasy food and pass out. then wake up feeling mentally hungover then continue that path.

this time i realize the goal is to ONLY DO THINGS that make YOU FEEL HAPPY.

literally only things that make you feel happy. eat only food you like. only listen to music you like. only hang out with people you like.

and if you do everything based on what you like – you’ll be more inspired than not. and can tap into this energy.

so my goal is to recognize that i need to eat maybe healthier juices and veg and whatever so that i don’t lose touch with this super energy and inspiration i feel right now.

11. This is obviously the longest email of all time – and i’m still buzzing a little bit – but im writing this to you in a way to trick myself into accepting this as well.

Let’s say you knew a secret. and the secret was that the world is round. but no one believed you.

but you knew deep down that the world is round.

you can

a) convince all the haters that the world is round

b) convince open-minded people who would be open to hearing new ideas like the world is round

or

c) forget all of that, find other people who also know the world is round and just hang out with them and have fun for the rest of your life.

ive spent too much time in a+b but this trip made me realize it really doesn’t matter what anyone ever beliefs because even if something is factual (like gravity or world is round) – there will be people who wont believe it.

goal is to do fun things with fun likeminded people for as long as you can until you die.

anyone who doesn’t will have a miserable life.

oh yea i distinctly remember thinking this while on the intense part of the trip.

it’s like let’s say dr dre made amazing music. and he put in like the most energy and thought into it. and people like me listen to it on an iphone speaker – no headphones.

he can spend rest of his life trying to convince people like me that it should be heard on the best headphones you can get.

but dumb people will say – why should i spend money on headphones. i got bills to pay.

the answer is this – dont buy dumb rims. buy some god damn headphones so that you can hear some amazing music that was inspired by the whole universe.

why would you spend one minute on earth never experiencing some of the best music ever created by humans? what’s more important that than? rims? diapers? cars? phones?

i knew on the trip that the things spirit wants is to do fun things and experience fun things.

solving challenges/puzzles/riddles
eating actually good food
listening to amazing music
seeing good things – movies/flowers/traveling, etc.

zero time to be spent on un fun things. 100% time to be spent on only fun things.

because there is no other point to life. no point in making tons of money or being mean or whatever. we’re on earth to just have fun and enjoy being alive.

and i think people who fully live their lives doing fun things are the same people who we admire as doing great things.

but in essence they’re just doing fun things. michael jordan was playing basketball because it was super fun, money and fame were just bonuses but he really liked playing bball.

it doesn’t matter if no one else understands that. he would have played ball by himself in the winter just for fun.

so goal is to not convince anyone else because there are a lot of zombies in the world.

i cant convince (edit) or (edit) or whatever. i should just find people who already know the truth and just have fun.

anyways – still feeling great – listening to some intergalactic by beastie boys – super bass headphones – full blast

Deepak Nair September 6, 2012 at 11:57 pm

i just reread my own post a few times & i have to admit that it’s a damn good trip report! Who made the rule that you can’t comment on your own work??

So this trip was almost a year ago and a lot’s happened in my life since – which I didn’t realize consciously til now.

1) I quit my super unhappy job. Even though I was the “boss”, made a lot of money & had tons of freedom to do whatever I want. I came in when I wanted. Left when I wanted. Perks of working in the family business. But super unfulfilling. I quit after my ayahuasca trip in april. I’m able to support myself on my life savings, which should last me a while until I figure out how to create my own satisfying income streams.

2) Oh yea, traveled for the first time alone out of the country. First time ever to brazil. First time ever doing ayahuasca. All of which seemed like a distant fantasy in 2011. Never thought I would have the courage to do any of that before.

3) I rarely hang out with negative people. This means I hang out much less with my friends, family, etc. But that’s the cost of happiness.

4) I try to do only fun things (blogging, podcasting, making youtube videos, tweeting fun stuff, listening to classic rock, etc).

5) I got rid of my rental property which was losing tons of money and making me super unhappy – via bankruptcy. I took a hit on my credit score but my mind feels so much more free. I got myself a small studio apt instead in a town I love. The apt complex is super comfortable, safe, amazing upkeep, has a pond with ducks & geese, etc. The landlords are super nice.

6) I meditate. Eat healthy/organic/etc now. Make green shakes. Drink a lot of water (used to drink 2-3 cups of coffee a day at work plus tons of diet soda before). Use supplements. Haven’t drank any kind of soda in 5 months. Go see a therapist. Use float tanks. Get energy work done. Read 2-3 new books a week.

7) I do whatever I want every day. I haven’t woken up to an alarm clock in years. I wake up when I want. I sleep when I want. I eat what I want. I watch what I want. I have complete freedom.

8) Haven’t had to drive the hellish chicago rush hour traffic in almost 2 years now. I don’t even remember what it was like anymore to be stuck on the highway bumper to bumper 2x a day, every day.

What are the downsides?

1) Loneliness. When you decide to cut out work & negative people – there are very few people you can actually hang out with in your current social circle. Of course, the world is full of like-minded people – I just have to find them!

2) Boredom. When you have unlimited time to whatever you want all day, it can get boring after a while. There is something to be said about having a routine everyday so you don’t have to think what you will do.

3) Fear. Sometimes I fear the unknown. What will I do for the rest of my life. How will I make money? Am I going crazy? Am I becoming a crazy hermit? It’s not easy bucking the current of normalcy.

Final Thoughts:

I was kind of in a rut for the past two weeks. I know the winter is approaching and that usually gets me down every year.

I also was wondering if I’m going crazy or even making any progress in my life. No one I know is doing what I’m doing. Everyone else has a 9-5p that they don’t like, they all have wives, kids, gf’s, fiances, mortgages, etc. No one understands why I am cutting “negative” people out.

All of that changed the moment I read Ari Shaffir’s shroom fest post (linked @ beginning of article). That reminded me that I had written a trip report similar to his a while back.

When I looked at it and reread what I had written that day, it gave me a surge of energy.

Normally whenever I do mushrooms, I feel euphoria and renewed energy for life afterwards that lasts for a few days to a few weeks. However, I haven’t done mushrooms since my ayahuasca trip since ayahuasca was soooo strong – didn’t want to go thru a similar ordeal again.

But just rereading my own trip report gave me a boost (as unbelievable as that may sound) – almost like I had taken shrooms today.

Great. Life is great. All is well. I am happy once again. Hope this helped you out as well.

PS: How great is “Mer De Noms” by A Perfect Circle? Blasting that on headphones now.

Take it easy.