Inner Game

October 9, 2011

I think everything is inner game. Inner game means how you feel on the inside – your self-esteem, confidence, charm, thoughts, etc. If you have strong inner game – you can overcome anything.

You can stand up on stage and make people laugh, give a speech to a crowd of strangers, walk up to a hot girl without hesitation, make strong eye contact with whoever you want – especially high status good looking girls. I think you get the idea.

A lot of times outer game can improve inner game. That’s why guys workout and build muscles. If you lost 50lbs of fat and get fit, your confidence will be soaring. Others will do liposuction or plastic surgery to improve their perceived deficiencies (crooked nose, hair piece, clearing acne, etc).

Some people buy fancy cars, clothes or watches. Or have a huge house with all the goodies. These are outer game tactics that can temporarily improve your confidence but the main goal should be to improve your inner game to a high level.

We all know guys with super strong inner game date hot girls even though the guy is overweight and super ugly. The picture I get in my mind is the fat soprano’s archetype guy who is a strong alpha male who has gorgeous women around him all the time. He doesn’t look good but he has the strong aura that is attractive.

Some of the richest old/fat/bald/ugly guys date some of the hottest women on earth. That’s because they are so wealthy and elite that this trumps their looks. Status and inner game always trumps looks when it comes to looks for men.

UPDATE: 7/27/12
I need to update my thoughts on everything listed below. I disagree with a lot of what I wrote. I have a more evolved thought process on inner game now. Will do a full write-up when I get a chance!

NEW UPDATE: 12/11/12
This is a classic example of thinking I did something more poorly than I really did. I reread what I wrote below & realized all of it is true! It is evolved. The only exception is Patrice O’neal’s views about women. While Patrice speaks the truth, there is no need to treat women like dumb objects. I agree with most of his views, except more lovingly of the opposite gender.

Some of the ways that I know of to improve inner game is listed below.

Beginner Inner Game:

1) Knowledge: read/watch/learn as much as you can from guys who are already doing what you want to do. Learn their techniques, their ways of thinking, etc. This is the best investment you can make in your life. There are tons of books, videos and audio out there on Amazon, YouTube, blogs etc. Read things by David DeAngelo, RSD, The Game to get started.

2) Workout: exercise improves self-confidence immediately and eventually it will improve how you look – raising your outer game which raises inner game.

3) Wear good clothes/improve hygiene: most women are incapable of leaving their house without makeup, tweezing their eyebrows, shaved legs, perfume, manicure, pedicure, stylish low cut clothes etc. This is their armor that gives them confidence. The same super confident hot girl you see at the bar will have much less confidence if you catch her in her without all her armor and only wearing ugly sweatpants around the house. So you have to do things that you can to give yourself the confidence. Fix the unibrow. Wear stylish clothes. Shave or have cool facial hear. Wear some cool rings or a nice watch. You get the idea. But you should know that these are all just crutches/training wheels but the true goal is to feel supreme regardless if you have your armor or not.

4) Follow your bliss: The most important thing you can do in general is to do and say what your gut tells you to. Follow your inner guidance and try to live as happy as a life as possible. This means live where you want, work where you want, ONLY do what you want, be able to say no when you don’t want to say something, don’t be a sellout, don’t be a pushover, don’t fall into the friend zone hoping she’ll change her mind later, don’t kiss girls’ asses, don’t accept abuse from anyone, create your path/life/joy etc. Follow your inner spirit. Get some hobbies you’ve wanted to do forever. Try to build your own business to make as much wealth as possible doing things you love. All of this will compound and make you true to yourself. When you’re following your bliss, it’s one of the best ways to have the ultimate inner game and super confidence.

Advanced Inner Game:

The goal is to have inner game so strong that you become the sun. You give off energy to all the planets, moons, plants & animals rather than being an energy vampire.

You won’t need to depend on anyone else to feel good or bad. If something doesn’t go your way, you won’t beat yourself up all night about it. Your inner monologue where your monkey mind talks bad to you will stop being there and will be replaced with optimistic voices that encourage you.

You become your own solar system. Soon you’ll notice that other planets (friends, women, etc) will start orbiting you because they feed off your intense energy (inner game).

When you are just starting out, this can get tiring because you feel like if they feed off your energy, you will run out – like a battery. So as you evolve, you change from being just a battery that gets thrown out into a rechargeable battery. You’ll be able to feed many objects but will need downtime to recharge. Eventually with all the knowledge and inner/outer work you do to yourself, you will evolve into the sun and it won’t matter how many objects feed off of you, you won’t run out.

The following isn’t advice on how to get advanced level inner game but rather a guidepost to see where you are in your journey thus far.

Listen to everything Patrice O’neal says on The Black Phillip Show. Here’s a test to gauge your inner game level: if you immediately get mad at everything he says – you have beginner level inner game when it comes to women.

Once these things start making sense to you – or you are at least open to his thoughts and ideas, then you are achieving intermediate to advanced level of inner game.

I used to hate everything that was discussed on this show (that was my ego resisting) – but after years and years of time spent learning different things and discovering myself and evolving, I can now listen to most things with an open mind and agree with most of the things he says.

Click here to listen to all of the different clips.

Here are two samples: