This is a late nite podcast.
I’m running on low mental steam.
Hope it all made sense!

I tell the story of overcoming an intense anxiety attack last nite.

1. Every few months, I experience an intense anxiety attack. It makes me believe that I’m a crazy person, everyone knows it, and no one wants to tell me. Or something of that sort. I haven’t figured out why that happens yet.

2. During intense anxiety attacks, all positive thoughts go away. The brain for some reason cannot access them.

Good thoughts are: this is just a phase that will go away with time. Do not trust my thoughts. I am not my brain. (These are neuroplasticity teachings + what Eckhart Tolle, Buddhists & other spiritual teachers say).

We are not our thoughts. We are the observer of our thoughts.

But I couldn’t remember these things during the anxiety filled nite.

3. My default affirmation “I love myself” did not work. This is an affirmation I picked up from Louise Hay & Kamal Ravikant (author of Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It)

4. As a last resort, I used this affirmation: “I am blessed by God” – something I picked up from the Joel Osteen podcast. It started working!
[Click here to read more, dude...]


What’s up dude.

I’m back, with a new mic for the podcast.

This should mean easier way for me to record and high energy. I got a lavalier mic that clips onto my shirt and hooks into my iphone. I can walk around and talk, which results in better energy rather than be seated on the couch and record thru my yeti mic + laptop combo.

This topic leads me to sharing how I got myself to grocery shop, cook, wash dishes, exercise & nofap.

All of these do NOT require willpower or negative self talk. They are all automatic, fun and I look forward to doing them. (Well, all except washing dishes.)

I say this not to brag but because it’s a miracle.
Anyone can workout when they yell at themselves and use willpower. But I wanted to become one of those people who wants to exercise naturally.

I explain my method in the podcast.

The summary is this:
Let’s use exercise as an example. [Click here to read more, dude...]

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
– Robert Frost

Everything sucks.
I don’t know what I’m doing.
All my friends have high paying jobs, are getting married and I have no future.
I don’t know man, I think it’s all over for me.

I’ve said these exact words to my best friend a bunch of times. I’d be over at his house and he’d take me on a long walk around the forest. And I’d sulk & whine.

I don’t know how he put up with it. But he listened & was comforting. And hopeful. I guess that’s what good friends are for.

Things always did get better.

I really did not want the high paying corporate jobs. I did not want to get married young. And I definitely was not ready for kids.

I didn’t know what I wanted, just something better & different than the normal suburban life.

If you’re reading this, I’m sure you are in a similar journey.

If you’ve ever felt down & out, let Jerry Seinfeld cheer you up:

This clip is from his documentary “Comedian.”

Jerry had wrapped up his popular tv show. And was back to square one, with zero new material. The documentary shows how gathers up content for his next standup special.

Jerry is the confident vet who has tasted tremendous success.
He is contrasted by a young comedian Orny Adams, who is starting out.

At one point, the young guy is complaining that he is not progressing as fast as he’d like. Time is passing by. All his friends have high paying wall street jobs, are buying houses & getting married. And what will his parents think??

And Jerry tells the perfect story that sums it all up to follow the road less traveled.

I share with you this video I’ve watched dozens of times as medicine when all hope is lost.

May it help you out as it has me.

Full Poem Source

Topics covered:

1. I’m sweating.
Did a 20 minute hardcore kettlebell swing workout. First time in life. And it was fun.

2. I’m out of breath.

3. Everything I’m doing in this video, do the exact opposite to make a good, watchable video. Make it shorter, do it widescreen rather than vertical, don’t chew gum, have frequent short cuts, don’t have closeup of sweaty beard, blah blah blah. But seriously, who cares when you’re hyped & feeling great??

3b. If you’re interested in making good videos, this book is useful
How to Shoot Video That Doesn’t Suck: Advice to Make Any Amateur Look Like a Pro

4. All different types of workouts possible (gym, bands, kettlebells, weight lifting, high intensity interval training, bodyweight workouts, etc) and what I’m doing now that’s working.

5. Metabolic Effect book talks about REST exercise method. Workout for a set time, ie: 20mins. Work out as intense as possible. Then take as long as break needed to do another round. Finish when 20min timer goes off. This is different from workouts where there are no breaks and ones where there are limited breaks (ie: 1min rest between sets). [Click here to read more, dude...]

TL;DR: My friend jerks off way too much. Whenever I do, it’s always because I’m depressed. Tracked my mood for 7yrs. Read daily rituals of successful people, positive psychology, spirituality, energy management, diet & mood books. Created my own daily ritual to keep me even keeled and away from the depressive roller-coaster. It’s working. Instead of being depressed for months at a time, now it’s 2-3 days max. My ritual for yesterday is included below.

“My all time record for jerking off is 24 times in 24 hours”
my friend said.

In college, guys compete over everything. I guess.

I was the type of person that never even said the words “masturbation” or “jerking off,” let alone brag about it.

My friend was the exact opposite.
Charming. Smart. Good looking. Athletic. Ladies man.
And likes talking about jerking off.

We’d be hanging in his apartment on a friday night. Handles of captain morgan being passed around.

He would declare that it’s time to jerk off, go into his room, & lock the door. Then come out a few minutes later, with a smile.

And no one made fun of him. He had that kind of confidence.

I tried (ahem) beating his record a few times.
Best was 11 times in 24 hours.
And it was torture. Not fun at all.

Being forced to jerk off 24x in 24hours should replace water-boarding as our go to punishment. Terrorists will give up, I promise.

So why did he jerk off 24x in 24hrs?

My theory is that we masturbate, not because we’re perverts.
We masturbate because it’s a natural, free, easy way to feel good – especially when depressed.

We all know that an orgasm releases a ton of good feeling chemicals in our brain.

Whenever I think about porn A LOT, or get the urge to masturbate frequently, it’s ALWAYS when I’m feeling terrible in life.

I’m at a low.

In a rut.

The shades in my apartment are closed. I have dirty dishes in the sink. I have chores & projects I don’t feel like doing. My mind is full of negative thoughts. I’m reliving old painful memories. Sometimes, I haven’t showered in days. I skip classes. I don’t answer my phone. [Click here to read more, dude...]

Someone said something racist to me today.
I keep forgetting I’m not white!

I was driving home & pulled up to this old pickup truck with a couple of white dudes. As the light turned green, I think one of the dudes leaned out the window and said something to me, about being Indian.

I’m not 100% sure. I was already in a frazzled state. It was hot. I had worked out all day. And blood sugar was low.

For a moment, I thought how cool it would be if real life was like Grand Theft Auto. I could ram his car, and whoop his ass with a baseball bat. And nothing bad would happen to me.

But I didn’t.

And to be honest, I didn’t even get mad. Maybe it’s all the meditation & stoic self training.

The rest of the drive, I tried to reframe my negative thoughts.
I don’t have to care what people say.
Just because someone said something doesn’t mean I have to feel a certain way.

I remembered the old stoic story.
Someone spit on Socrates. Later the guy came back and apologized. Socrates said he wasn’t even offended. No need to apologize.

Stoics don’t care what anyone else does. You can spit on them, hit them, make fun of them, imprison them, kill them – even on their death bed, they are unaffected by externals.

So I talked to myself this way until I got home.
Took a nap.

Woke up and ate some low fat cottage cheese with sunflower seeds.
Good protein & good fat. [Click here to read more, dude...]